Chuck Norris

Subject: Chuck Norris Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:42 pm

I know, some people hate the guy and all his jokes. I figured why not and throw something up on here.

Come post you're favorite Chuck Norris joke and let the beatings begin.

Subject: Oxford and Spelling. Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:45 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford simply changes the actual spelling of it.

Subject: He potato sack's 'em!!! Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:57 pm

Chuck Norris doesn't T-bag the ladies...He potato sack's 'em!!!

Subject: Reagan's Tumor... Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:03 pm

In the 80’s it was discovered that President Reagan had an inoperable growth on his brain. Rather than letting him die, they shrunk Chuck Norris and injected him into President Reagan. There, he fought the tumor and defeated it with a round house kick to the face. The tumor died and Chuck Norris safely exited Ronald Regan’s body. Chuck Norris then had Reagan’s tumor mounted on his wall next to the elephant that he killed with his bare hands and the dinosaur he shot on his hunting expedition to the Jurassic Period.

Subject: Monopoly Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:05 pm

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

Subject: CN Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:34 pm

The chemical symbol for Cyanide Ion is CN. These are also the initials of Chuck Norris. It is not a coincidence.

Subject: Latness Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:34 pm

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Subject: 11th Commandment Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:36 pm

The 11th commandment is: "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris." It is never enforced simply because it is impossible to accomplish.

Subject: Fact! Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:03 pm

Chuck Norris actually built the Stairway to Heaven.

Subject: Indy 500 Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:35 pm

Chuck Norris won the Indy 500... on an exercise bike.

Subject: Re: Chuck Norris Thu Oct 15, 2009 7:48 am

Under Chuck Norris' beard is another fist!